Has it really been five years?
My first born Liana Jamaine
I look at the photo of my baby girl swaddled in a pink blanket, her eyes closed, and a yawn scrunching up her cute little face.
My firstborn, the miracle who made me a mother.
My eyes move to the long haired big girl building blocks in front of me. And the memories, rewind, play and fast forward all at once.
Oh how she has grown.
Then there’s the little one with chubby cheeks and wispy hair. She came to us as a surprise, I discovered I was pregnant with her, well into the first trimester.
My baby girl Jan Kalia a few weeks old
And now here she is, in front of me, painting swishes of pink and purple. She’s a little lady now she says, she wants to dance ballet.
The screensaver on my husband’s laptop continues to play: a slideshow of our life, one photograph at a time.
It’s amazing how one image can bring a flood of memories. And even if those moments were not as picture perfect as they seem to be, everything else has faded away.
And all I remember is love.
Do you remember what it was like when your kids were young?
I remember those sleepless nights when I cradled my daughters in my arms, I would wish they would grow up so we can do things together.
Tell stories, go on walks, make art, and sing together.
And now here they are. We are doing all those things and so much more.
My girls and me during our Baguio getaway
And yet, sometimes, when the bickering starts and the moodiness strikes, I wish they would be babies again when a soothing lullaby or a musical toy could keep the peace.
Have you ever felt this way?
Oftentimes, it’s easy to forget love when your mind is clouded by stress, frustrations and fears.
The adorable little bundles of joy now seem like noisy and demanding kids who want everything to go their way.
And then it becomes easy to snap, to shout, to throw dagger stares when the tension is high and patience is running low.
Do you want to be more patient? Remember this…
As within, so without.
Whatever you are thinking about will come out in your emotions, your words and your actions.
Want to be more patient? Think about love. Focus on love and see how patience immediately takes its place in your awareness.
Remember how it is defined? Love is patient.
When your children are bickering, fighting or having a tantrum, remember that they are good kids having a bad day.
Play a slideshow in your head of your happy moments together. When you try to rewind them, there will be more than you can possibly count.
Remember that they are your little miracles, teachers who are showing you how to grow your heart so big, it overflows with love.
Can it really be that simple?
Yes, it can be that simple and it’s also not that easy.
There is no secret formula or magic pill that can make you more patient in an instant.
Patience is something that you practice every moment of every day.
You might slip and snap sometimes, and that’s okay.
When you find yourself in a trying situation, remember your intentions, close your eyes, breathe, envision your children as the angels that they truly are.
And most of all, think of love.
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance … love will last forever!”
Practice: Make a slideshow of your children’s photographs in a digital frame or in your laptop and put it in a place where you can see it often. Surround yourself with photographs or things that help bring you happy thoughts and memories.
Now it’s your turn: What other techniques do you have to maintain your patience and happy vibes? I’d love to hear about them in the comments below.
Amber @ Backwards Life May 17, 2012 at 12:39 pm
Your posts have a way of making me cry almost every single time. Thank you. It’s the good cleansing tears that are needed to refocus <3
Amber @ Backwards Life recently posted..A New Mother’s Day
Optimommy May 17, 2012 at 5:41 pm
And your comment brings tears to my eyes. <3
Thank you Amber, your appreciation means a lot to me. Just what I needed right now. You made my day.
Connie May 18, 2012 at 12:38 am
Thanks for this reminder. There are times when my patience just wears thin and I begin to snap at my daughters. Perhaps I should take the time to look at my kids’ pictures every now and again.
Connie recently posted..Softie Art: How to Make a Stuffed Flower Headdress
Optimommy May 19, 2012 at 4:40 am
Hi Connie, that’s a good idea. Better yet, spread the photos everywhere in your home. Carry some photos in your phone or in your wallet. Makes a big difference.
Trina May 18, 2012 at 1:41 pm
I love thinking back to when my kids were little and all the fun things we did. We still do fun things but when they’re teenagers or older the things you used to do are in the past and you have new things. I still have one that loves to tell stories with me. We say a keyword and the other person has to come up with an experience or fact about ourselves with that word.
The best thing for me to remember to be patient is to start my day with prayer and scriptures then think of the Lord throughout the day. I feel that when I have his help and strength I’m a much more patient, kind, loving mom.
Trina recently posted..THAT WAS AWKWARD!
Optimommy May 19, 2012 at 5:34 am
Hi Trina! It’s a good thing you’re still close with your children now that they’re older. I always remind myself that things will be different when my girls become teens, so I try to enjoy every moment now while they’re still young and playful.
It’s good that you start your day with a prayer. Consciously putting yourself in a positive and loving frame of mind first thing in the morning sets the tone for the whole day.
I’m glad you made it here, yay! Thank you so much for stopping by!
Adelina Priddis May 19, 2012 at 1:37 am
oh this is good! I always seem to try fast forwarding to thinking of how one day they will outgrow this “stage” they’re in. Perhaps if I rewind back to those first moment after birth where everything is perfect, it might be more effective and lasting.
Adelina Priddis recently posted..De-lurk!
Optimommy May 19, 2012 at 5:41 am
Hi Adelina! Rewinding back to those moments after birth reminds me that my girls truly are angels.
Now though, I sometimes feel that they’re growing up too fast so I’m not too keen on fast forwarding this stage. I can’t imagine them as teenagers just yet. So now it’s all about playing and just enjoying it one day at a time.
Blond Duck May 22, 2012 at 6:17 pm
This makes me want to be a mom!
Blond Duck recently posted..If I was a Tigger….
Optimommy May 22, 2012 at 7:39 pm
Hi Duckie! In that case, your children will be so lucky to have a fun mama and great storyteller rolled into one.
Thank you for dropping by!