As I type this, firecrackers and fireworks are creating a festive symphony outside. It’s just a few hours before New Year 2013.
Inside my husband’s family home, everything is quiet. The girls are playing with their grandparents. The husband is preparing to go to sleep for his early training ride and run.
As for me, well, I’ve got a few minutes all to myself to reflect on the year that is almost gone and to write this. The words are flowing slowly because I haven’t written in weeks.
After the first ever run of the “Yes Mommy” workshop, I went into a self- imposed hiatus.
During the days leading up to the workshop, I was so busy with preparations, I had very little time to really focus on my girls. Yes, I was at home but it was as if I wasn’t really there.
One day my big girl said, “Mommy, you’re always working, you never play with us.” It hit me hard.
After the workshop, I resolved to devote all my time to them during the days that followed. Full attention. No distractions. Focused presence.
After going offline for a few days, I attempted to write a post about the workshop. There were so many realizations and so many people to thank.
But I couldn’t get past the halfway mark and I find myself retreating to the girls’ play room. The post is still in my drafts folder waiting to be published. And it will be.
Still I realize this year needs some closure, a happy ending if you will. So I am tip tap tapping this on the tiny keyboard of my mobile phone.
I am publishing this post raw and devoid of images. I am hoping the 3G signal holds up until I hit ‘Publish’.
If I were to sum up 2012 in three words, it would be Faith, Commitment and Gratitude.
This year was all about creating my own opportunities, accepting my lifetime career as mom and fulfilling goals with the help of community.
Even if the horizon seemed bleak at first, I continued to walk the teaching path while figuring out how to balance taking care of my kids and working from home.
I realized that sometimes you have to wait for things to come to you. But there are also times when you have to go out and get them yourself.
I knew I wanted to be a mompreneur, I just wasn’t sure what business to build and how. But I had faith that once I decided, opportunities, people and resources would show up.
And they did.
It wasn’t easy. Very far from it. There were several times when it felt like a hopeless uphill climb, I felt like giving up and just letting myself roll back down to where I used to be.
But I carried on, one day at a time. I just kept taking action and learning along the way.
One of the things that really gave me momentum was deciding to really accept and commit to my lifetime career as a mother.
Since my girls were born, I seemed to have an identity crisis. I always compartmentalized myself, trying to preserve that part of me that didn’t have mom in it.
I thought that since I already had children, I can no longer fulfill my own goals because they always had to come first. A part of me was in denial.
I didn’t realize that I was holding myself back from my true calling.
It was only when I accepted that I am indeed a mom and I committed myself to this lifetime calling that I began to see the possibilities before me. “Being a mom doesn’t change me, it just makes me more of who I am.”
Finally, my path was clear and I could see where I really wanted to go. Then as if by serendipity, people started showing up who gave me the empowerment, inspiration and help I needed to reach my destination.
And I am ever so grateful. Ginger, Tina, Martine, Cym, Ditas and all you supportive mamas amaze me with your loving hearts and open arms ready to help another mama going through a life changing journey.
We all know how this ends. And while it is happy, it is far from over.
The good thing about making one dream come true is making a new one.
And that is exactly what I am doing as 2012 crosses over to 2013. The journals and pens are open and ready to create another year with amazing possibilities.
I’ll share them with you this week.
In the meantime, I am sending you love and blessings. May your New Year be filled with dreams fulfilled and abundant reasons to always feel grateful.